The Q theory

When I was somewhere between drooling and dreaming about the bombshell that was engrossing my sight, this so called “Q-Theory” hit me mercilessly back into reality.

I was sitting outside on the stairs (Most happening place of our campus) and monitoring the people entering the canteen (U should consider this as an exercise of self-defense as u cant trust anyone these days. What if they were from the L-e-T ladies wing?) when I followed her movements from our adjacent tower. Cant make out from distance if she is a Techie or a BPOite, but the nearer she came it was damn clear that she must b from BPO as revealing clothes r not a norm with Tech. So exactly at this point when I was mindlessly checking out some lass did the “Q-Theory “ dawned upon me.

Here it goes

“Every gal who passed the age of 14 (Tenth Grade) and even if she is remotely equivalent to gud looking (from any angle) then the probability that the gal has atleast two boy friends (Incase of north Indian it could be more) is 0.99999999.So from then on the remaining subjects are classified under 4 queues”

Why I call this as the Queue Theory is that those 2 guys are first elements in their respective Queues and whoever tries after that have to fall under their queue, the size of the queue depends on the increasing percentage of beauty in the subject under inspection (SUI from now on). These are marked as two queues because of the guys. One of them would be very good looking as he forms the Looks Queue (LQ from now on) and the other is the Richness quotient section (RQ from now on). Anyone who pursues the SUI can fall under any of the categories subject to SUI agreeing to put u in Q. These two are the main queues but the 2 other queues are TP queue (TPQ) and Usefulness Q (UQ). When SUI wants to do TP and couldn’t find a specimen at LQ or RQ, she goes for TPQ. This happens when the SUI is new to the environment and couldn’t find a much more boring task. UQ is reserved only for guys who have some use or possess some skill usually relating to work, studies or influence. These guys are the poor guys, they can neither enter the LQ or RQ. Every guy at some point of time falls under this queue during their lifetime.

The queues are sorted in Descending order of preference. But being in these queues is not without dangers, there is always a danger that some other better specimen could pre-empt ur position as the head. Though people at the end of the queue would want to think of it as stack, there is no such possibility of such a thing happening unless u drastically improve on the RQ queue.

So there u have it guys, the Q theory simplified. It could get really complicated as all guys could be present simultaneously on each of these queues. But u usually consider higher ranking in any of the 3 queues as ur rank. Being in the UQ is actually a curse.

But don’t lose hearts guys…ALL GALS R WEIRD and sometime they would use weird sorting algorithms (u would need IEEE paper for figuring out that algorithm) or sometimes they could use their heart and find u at the top of their queue and flush all other elements. HOPE tat u guys find such a SUI…

And if ur wondering what happened to the Bomb shell who entered the canteen with our eyes following her movements, then u would realize she directly went to the element from the RQ or UQ as he would be the guy sponsoring the gal at the canteen. So I found myself automatically queued at the end of all the 3 queues as she held his hands and walked away into the horizon…..